I’m reading a wonderful book called Growing up Brave by Donna B. Pincus, PhD, that was recommended to me by one of my newest clients. I want to share a suggestion in the book that has particularly piqued my interest because it is a fast and easy way to help our children grow up brave or gain coping skills for anxiety. This technique for parents of anxious children is called either ¨Special Time,¨  ¨Positive Play Time,¨ or whatever you decide to call it.  Just schedule it for every day, around the same time if possible. Tell your child that this is your special time together and that you are committed to it!

The Do’s and Don'ts

• Talk directly to each other, so no phones or puppets.

• Collect age-appropriate toys to set aside in the Special Time bin.

• Plan to meet at the same time every day, but assure the concerned child that this does not have to be the only time we will play together that day.

• Allow for silence, follow what develops. Hard rule to follow!!! 

• No questions! Parents often inadvertently demand responses, direct the activities…”Do want to add more? Do you see that? Don´t you want to try this?” This feels oppressive to children. We may do it naturally, but it can be lessened. Instead, compliment their choices, notice their discoveries, delight in their interests.

Nothing has to happen, nothing must get done. This is a time to foster warmth and connection with your child.

Let me know if you try this and how it goes!